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Twilight vs Harry Potter by ~firebolt-kid:iconfirebolt-kid:

Categories Literature > Prose > Non-Fiction > Satire


For those silly dolts who keep saying that Twilight is the new Harry Potter, I have highlighted a number of differences between the two, to (hopefully) change your mind…


1. Few have read Harry Potter and hated it. Many have read Twilight and hated it.

2. Twilight can only be enjoyed by horny teenage girls and the mentally insane. Harry Potter can be enjoyed by everyone, from your little brother, to your gran.

3. Harry Potter has thick, clever, interweaving and substantial plot lines. Twilight is just about Edward and Bella’s relationship, with small Vampire-scares thrown in randomly at the end of each book.

4. Harry Potter has hilarious moments, tear-jerking moments, romantic moments, scary moments, action-packed moments and just about any other kind of moment you can think of. Twilight only has corny moments.

5. The Twilight movie is just as good (or just as bad) as the book, but no movie has any hope of ever living up to the Harry Potter books.

6. Every single character in Harry Potter is lovable, whether they are good or evil. Every single character in Twilight (maybe with the exception of Emmet) is so annoying, that I am almost reduced to ripping my own head off.

7. The characters in Harry Potter are also wonderfully realistic; they make mistakes, they’re affected by hormones, they have flaws... The characters in Twilight are either ridiculously perfect (Edward!) or uncommonly selfish and shallow (Jessica! Rosalie!)

8. In Harry Potter, it is acknowledged that immortality would be soul draining, boring, painful, and unpleasant. In Twilight, immortality is practically worshipped, with Bella throwing her neck at any wiling vampire’s mouth.

9. Harry Potter breaks up with his girl for real heroic reasons. Edward Cullen breaks up with his girl because he’s too dangerous. Ergh, please, Edward. Get over yourself.

10. Werewolves in Harry Potter totally kick ass! Werewolves (oh, sorry, ‘shape shifters’) in Twilight totally…suck.

11. Joanne Rowling is a talented writer. Stephanie Meyer is a sexually frustrated weirdo.

12. Voldemort is freaking creepy and demented and evil and vengeful and terrifying. Aro, Caius and Marcus are just idiots.

13. Ginny Weasley can do it with her boyfriend without getting cold or bashed up and without the threat of being eaten. Bella Swan, not so much…

14. The second generation in Harry Potter is cute and adorable. The second generation in Twilight is DEMENTED AND SICK. (*shudders as pelvis shatters....*)

15. Harry Potter has a personality. Bella Swan has a personality disorder.

16. Twilight is severely lacking in gingers. Harry Potter is full of ginger love!

17. And, finally: Harry Potter does not sparkle.



And the ways in which they are similar?

1. Robert Pattinson is in both the movie adaptations.

2. And, err….. Oh, that’s it!





By Firebolt-kid
©2008-2009 ~firebolt-kid
:iconfirebolt-kid:

Author's Comments

If, after reading this list, you find that you are filled with uncontrollable rage and the desire to hurt me, then please feel free to go here [link] where you and ~19Bella90 can talk about how much you disagree with me. ;) (Although, if you are ginger, her list will just make you MORE angry...)


EDIT: guys, i thought i'd made this clear, what with the whole not-being-able-to-draw-any-similarities-between-the-two-fandoms thing....but, stop having a go at me for comparing them. I'M having a go at OTHER PEOPLE who compare them!!

has everyone got that? I don't think they can be compared. there are too many differences and NO similarites!

thank you...

Comments


:iconsnoopy-the-strange:
~Snoopy-the-strange Dec 31, 2008, 4:46:10 AM
Agreed and faved! :D Love, it, great thoughts in here. Edward is so damn dettached from the world and moody. It made me feel depressed reading it most of the time. It'd be like going out with Sweeny Todd :( And also to all the girls totally in love with him, in reality if they met him they'd probably get a good hard shove if they tryed to hug him. It's ok to love him, but this is just my opinon and it pains me to see almost EVERY teenage girl out there swooning over one guy :( I couldn't fall in love with grumpy "Perfection".


Dunno if they're points but they're my thoughts XD

--
Totally Wammy-tarded XD ~[link]
:iconpoppylina:
Mood: Irritated ~Poppylina Dec 31, 2008, 5:03:05 AM
To be honest, these aren't reasons or points, these are opinions.

Sure Twilight isn't the new harry potter, but nothing could beat harry potter, and any one who tries has to work bloody hard. haha.
and the reason where you said "Joanne Rowling is a talented writer. Stephanie Meyer is a sexually frustrated weirdo."
Im sure Stephanie Meyer wouldn't have had a movie made out of her book if she wasn't a talented writer.

yes, Harry Potter will never be beaten, and Twilight will never beat it. But trying to compare these two totally different stories with different plots characters and stories lines isn't right. Its like comparing Twilight to the Angus Thongs And Full Frontal Snogging Books. Yes Harry Potter and Twilight are both fantasies, but they're are millions of fantasy, wizarding, vampire, werewolf books out there, and just because two have become extremly popular doenst mean insulting the author and its readers will make it any less popular. Twilight and harry potter are my two favourite seris of books and Im a big fan of both of themm, so in my opinion, they're both special and have had me hooked to the last page, but hey, everyone is entitaled to their own opion ond this is mine.

sorry for the little rant, but just wanted to get it off my chest

xx(:
:iconfirebolt-kid:
~firebolt-kid Dec 31, 2008, 5:05:34 AM
my point exactly. people keep comparing them- this was to show that doing so is totally ridiculous, as they are so different.

--
"That she-wolf!"
:iconfranbakercake:
~franbakercake Dec 31, 2008, 9:04:08 AM
The movie werewolf is LAME in Harry Potter and evrytime I read werewolf I think of that skinny scrawny un-wolf thing. *shudder*

Twilight sucks, I have been telling people thins for years.

--
We Don't Have A Tumble Dryer
Oh You Will, You Will
:iconfranbakercake:
~franbakercake Dec 31, 2008, 9:08:58 AM
though it is my guilty pleasure. And I love Jacob

--
We Don't Have A Tumble Dryer
Oh You Will, You Will
:icontrilies:
~Trilies Dec 31, 2008, 9:45:53 AM
"Stephanie Meyer wouldn't have had a movie made out of her book if she wasn't a talented writer."

-coughs-
Excuse me, pardon me, would just like to say something here....
Smeyer isn't a talented writer. Her writing is filled to the brim with purple prose, flat characters, no plot, and pathetic attempts at romance. However, because of mass advertising, some people not knowing the difference from a good book to a bad one(a personal experience in a class of mine), and perhaps even a kind of brainwashing method (it sounds like a joke, I know), it's very popular.
Popular = money. The movie industry is all over that.

(By 'brainwashing', I mean the method she uses in describing the Cullen's and such. Her writing is a mix of repetiveness and rhythm. We try and forget how 'awesome' the Cullens are while reading the book, but it just comes back again and again. Eventually, it settles into the subconsiousness. This is generally speaking, of course. )

--
"OH GOD I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE THIS THING *swingswingswing*"
:icondextear:
!Dextear Dec 31, 2008, 11:22:47 AM
...Amazingly, this reminds me why I so enjoyed the Harry Potter books. Thank you.
:iconfirebolt-kid:
~firebolt-kid Jan 1, 2009, 12:07:15 PM
omg i died in the theatre when i saw that.

What happened to good old normal-looking wolves?

But then again, what happened to sexy mustache-less Lupin?

--
"That she-wolf!"
:icondarkchocolatebrownie:
~darkchocolatebrownie Jan 1, 2009, 4:38:11 PM
Haha! So true, so true!

--
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends

Not with a bang, but a whimper.
:iconsassybackk:
~sassybackk Jan 3, 2009, 6:23:20 PM
Ahhhh.
I thank you for writing this.
Harry Potter doesn't sparkle and yet he's still kickass.
I love it.
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